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"When I Was Nine And Other Poems" by Sky Brubaker


I asked my mother why I needed to brush my hair when she said appearances didn't matter. Stumped her with that one, until she brought up hygiene. Remember when I had self-esteem? That was an odd time in my life. At fifteen I decided there was no one more brutal than myself. Does everyone despise themselves at fifteen? When I was nine my favorite shoes were white low-top Converse. Anyone could testify for this because well, after I eventually stopped wearing them they weren't the slightest bit white. When I was nine I dyed the bottom half of my hair bright red with boiled Kool-Aid. I wrote stories I thought would become famous one day. I had fake glasses and told people they were real and now I actually can鈥檛 see. When I was nine I had a gap in my teeth and a knee I didn't know would hurt so much in the years to come. I wrote songs knowing damn well I couldn't sing, called myself a genius. Humble, too. I was a natural blonde. My eyes would squint beyond explanation when I smiled. I left everything on my sleeve. Didn't know why anyone wouldn't.

 
"Are We Ever Going To Be Okay?" by Sky Brubaker

Short answer: possibly.

Long answer: I went on a walk Sunday morning and the air was brisk and the breeze made me shiver a few times but the sky was so blue and there were no clouds and so I almost cried. I got coffee鈥搃ced (despite the weather)鈥揳nd the barista asked me about my day. I didn't tell him I almost cried but his eyes were so kind for a second I felt compelled to do so. Then I took the long way to get a toasted everything bagel with avocado. Avocado isn't my favorite but it鈥檚 my sister鈥檚 nickname and I miss her so I enjoyed my bagel anyway鈥揵ecause I think that鈥檚 something worth celebrating. I think it鈥檚 something worth celebrating that I went on a walk at all. I think that this life is brutal and bitter and gentle and beautiful. I think it鈥檚 okay to build walls, or to be foolish and tenderhearted. I think sometimes the sky is so blue that it鈥檚 worth crying about. I think whatever the original question was, the answer is, I don鈥檛 know, but probably, maybe yes.

 
"We鈥檙e Still Peeling Oranges For Each Other" by Sky Brubaker

We鈥檙e four years old and our families are celebrating Christmas together, you show me all your new toys and now it鈥檚 been years but I still have a present for you every December. We鈥檙e eight years old and we share an orange and now it鈥檚 been years but we鈥檙e still peeling oranges for each other. We鈥檙e thirteen years old and we鈥檙e laughing so hard our water is spilling everywhere. Practice starts in ten and now it鈥檚 been years but we鈥檙e still filling up our water bottles together. We鈥檙e fifteen and we鈥檙e wearing each other鈥檚 clothes and now it鈥檚 been years but I still have your shirts in my closet. We鈥檙e seventeen and we鈥檙e praying together before we go on stage. So maybe now I鈥檓 wiping the smudged makeup off your face for different reasons and maybe I鈥檓 not taller than you anymore but we鈥檙e still pressed together from shoulder to hip and I will always have your back. We are laughing until we cry and we are picking each other up, from four to eight to forty to eighty.


Sky Brubaker is an elephant-obsessed, peanut butter enthusiast, wears lots of bracelets and has poor eyesight, loves graffiti, cartoon logic, and children acting like adults.